Okay, let’s try something different. The voices in my head have stopped talking to me lately(or maybe they’ve ignoring me). The mistress of creativity has left me, it feels like summer is delayed, and the debts of a cold universe are slowly being repaid. So no poetry today, I’m sorting through my notebook, this is all just observation and wild speculation.
A moment of peace
Do you feel priceless in the morning? Do you feel forgotten, emptied, and new? There is this brief moment in the morning where, all the anxieties and uncertainties of the previous day just seem washed away. Do you fear another day of mortal miscalculation? I don’t, I only fear myself. I’ve always been my greatest enemy. Do you know why I sit out here on the steps every morning? Because, time seems to slow down, it’s like being in suspended animation. I watch the grass grow for what seems like years. They say silence is good for the soul. Now here in this moment there is silence, but it’s a different kind of silence. It’s the silence of nature taking its course, forgetting that humanity even exists.
Memory is the greatest camera
I love pictures, they capture the moment. What about this moment? If the mind is emptied it’s almost perfect. Sadly though, most days I exist only to persist. Shit man, I gotta remold these drab vibes. I think I’ve figured it out, I’m just too square, too damn comfortable. I need to be a little more spontaneous, maybe even a little crazy! I think about alternate realities is a lot. What becomes of the path untread? Does it branch out, with different possibilities unseen? Life, is it an experiment, a trial period? How do we measure this experience? Time is a commodity, it’s actually the most valuable commodity there is, because it’s so limited. Time is also a contradiction, you can have “too much time on your hands”, but you can also have too little time. Having too much time can lead to insanity, when your brain just won’t shut the fuck up. Having too little time can mean lost opportunities, thats a real bummer. It’s all about conception, perception, repetition, balance, and the final outcome.
I was at the gym the other day, observing the sparse sea of humanity, and all the sudden I was struck with this revelation. Gyms are like temples in the jungle, they are a training ground for people who seek to cheat death.
Night time blues
What do you do, when you don’t want to do anything? Useless banter, manipulation, weakness, indulgence, self-centered validation, procrastination, a permanent vacation. There’s always some trouble on my mind. I feel like I’ve forgotten something, I’m afraid but I don’t really know why. Lost, shit, I may have rendered myself useless. Ever feel like if you wander you’ll eventually find your way home? But what is home? I don’t know, maybe home is an abstract melody that seems strangely familiar. I think that maybe, someday, if I’m fortunate and motivated enough this shit might make it into a coherently worded book.
and careless desecrations
i’ve lost all my lighters
and these dreams are just motions
in a foggy reality
arrows, hammers, and useless trinkets
fences stretched for miles
that don’t mean a thing
faces in trees
lead me to pages that are incomplete
i’m just really not into time
i’m trying to reach the death of failure
but it’s hard to finish
the anticipation is killing me
preoccupied, i just want to be simple again
i hate them, but i love all of you
how can we break the spell
that THEY have cast upon us
will not slay
the beasts of truth
Okay so I had to throw little poetry in there. I guess I can’t help it. Now on with the show!
Consume till you drop!
I don’t much dig the television anymore. I’m glad I don’t have cable or satellite. Whenever I’m exposed to it feel an apathetic corruption creeping in. It’s all just soulless drivel, marketed and mapped to drive humanity down a path of never-ending consumption. Don’t get me wrong I’m not some crazy communist or socialist, I really dig the free market, but this crony capitalism shit is just too much. There’s just no respect out there anymore, for the people or the planet. Someday this never-ending cycle will end, it has to. I went to the “outlaw music festival” the other day, the irony did not escape me. The amount of security and corporatization was overwhelming to the point of absurdity. Outlaw Festival, yeah right! Sure the music was great, but I didn’t feel like an “outlaw” in this venue. It just seemed like another vehicle to driven people to needlessly consume. I consume as little as possible these days. I mean what’s the point of it all? Give me a little food, some wine, a beat up car, a pen/notebook, music, and a functional computer. That’s really all I need to get by.
Parasites in comparison
The god damn ticks are out of control this year. Fucking little parasites, every time I go out I find one on me. Disease spreading little, such a pain in the ass. I don’t think they can hold a candle to the parasitical nature of humanity though. I wonder if that’s a sign of the times? Scanning the headlines every morning, I have to wonder, is humanity long for this world? I don’t really think so, I give us 100 years at best. I think the great mother will let us destroy ourselves, she’s tired of war, and pollution, and if we move too slow, she’ll send a few more natural disasters along to speed us on our way. We’ve done a pretty good job so far, think about the last hundred years. How many natural resources have been contaminated or depleted? How many landscapes have been scarred by unnecessary bombs? Yes, I do believe mother Earth will declare a great re-balance. To start over, new life, new gods, new slaves. Sure some humans will survive they’ll probably go in the space to try and spread their madness throughout the galaxy; I don’t for see that one ending well either. The few remaining humans will be viewed as oddities, primitive, by the new race of (wo)man that arise. I think this next race will be androgynous, sexless, multiplying by some sort of grand cell division, or calculated combination. And won’t that be something! No more sex! Think of it, how many times has a man acted completely retarded or out of character just to get laid? How many times has a woman let herrself be used because she thinks that’s the only power she has? Well not anymore, BAM welcome to the new age! The future is going to be a wild trip! I for one will miss sex. Maybe I’ll come back as a rabbit or a monkey, we’ll see. Maybe the new gods will be kinder than the last.