the shadow

sunset at the backyard diner
browsing through a vacuous menu of
green flowers, dog shit, and cheap wine
he’s pulling slow strings
from scattered playthings

reduced to the status
of a beggar
a bum
and a whore
in passive lament
he’s lying
and dying
sending out signals of surrender
weaving and wandering through
dreamy streets all too familiar
and seeking comfort in eyes of strangers

awaiting discovery
he’s living for yesterday
and suffering for tomorrow
constantly edited
but rarely refined

and there are
too many compliments
that don’t mean a thing
with a silence in the background
that rings too true

no likes no views
disconnected in every conceivable way
it’s an intentional accident
and fools cry best
when held in the arms
of innocent women

used once
and over again
sleeping for insomnia
there’s all this noise
he hates it
can’t stand it
craving anger he’s
rearranging vacancies
in a room that never changes
recycled with a new coat of paint
and marched down the runway
he’s faking it till he makes it

so now, he takes the trip
with words and worlds
that lead him to
a madhouse of his own creation

honesty, and dishonesty
almost open yet somehow closed
selfish, selfless
appreciation, connection
distractions and disasters
rejection, then disconnection
love turned to hate
with heroes and villains
a new identity in solitude
sex, indifference
old habits and new habits
mixed in a super collider of
meditation, fabrication
drugs, alcohol
addiction, recovery
on the path to
self medication or possibe healing
choices of hope
and consequences of despair
magic, malaise
war and peace
feeling old yet living new
writer’s block masked within inspiration
the freedom of a warrior’s stride
and the slavery of cowards that hide
running or walking
it’s the same old shit
but not a different day
tell me where is the heart
and what is a soul
fishbowl or foxhole
circling around this elusive goal

winter never ends
it only sleeps
and there are
phases of the moon
to worship
and cycles of the sun
to divide
perhaps it’s just
chaos personified
waiting to come undone
at the perfect moment





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