It occurred to me that we, and by we I mean I, tend to live life under this illusion that we are untouchable.  We often think that life’s circumstances, for better or worse, are in a perpetual state.  I can tell you now with certainty that they are not. So much is taken for granted. Yet, it only takes one moment, an action, inaction, or choice, and the reality of the world you lived under is forever changed. The security, the stability, the freedom, the happiness you thought you had can evaporate. Sadly this realization usually only occurs through tragedy or misfortune. The best advice I can give(to myself) to others is to constantly be aware, be vigilant, and fight complacency at every turn. I’ve often preached on the show of personal accountability, and about being the change you want to see in the world.  Wise words but apparently hard to live by. Change can be, and usually is, a positive force in an individual’s life.  However when it’s forced, it’s often frightening, and overwhelming. As I sit here and type, that is the state I’m in. The fear, and anxiety that I am enduring is utterly exhausting. The most frustrating part is that it all could have been avoided.    was born to make mistakes, however it’s vitally important that we live AND learn, for that’s what life and growth as an individual is all about.

Now for quite some time now I’ve had this nagging feeling that my life could(should) be headed in a different direction. I’ve felt that simply , “going along to get along”, is somehow wrong.  I am capable of so much more, but I’ve let myself become hampered by my complacency(and fear).  Old habits die hard, but die they must.  Life is much shorter than we often perceive.  Too often lately have I looked back and thought, is this all there is, is this as good as it gets?   Sure I’m an upstanding and decent human being, but At 39 years old I often feel like I have accomplished little.  Half a lifetime spent, not wasted, but not fulfilled either.  So I guess the simple answer to that question is a resounding NO. Only through persistence, challenge, and hard work can this life improve. Sadness and regret will only drag you down, trust me, let go of them, and release yourself. Again, it is a matter of choice.  Now is the perfect time to write a new, exciting, and more fulfilling chapter in the book of life.  You are never to old to change!

I can also tell you that being  “the strong silent type” is all too often counter productive to human means. No man is an island, and to continue to live under that illusion is ultimately crippling.  There is a bold difference between asking for help and whining or “being dependent”.  In my case the fear of being dependent had all too often prevented me from asking for help.  I despise weakness in all it’s forms, but I’m starting to see now that my failure to ask for help when needed was, in itself, a great form of weakness.
Another topic I’ve spoken to at great lengths is community, mutual cooperation, and friendship and trust.  These are vital components in the human experience. Once again however, it seems these are hard words to live by.  Often times we as individuals fail to see the wisdom in our own words, or refuse to put the in effort needed to enable that wisdom to come to fruition.  In my personal experience, there’s little room for excuses, as I have a good network of friends and family. However it’s always been a struggle with balance.  Give and take, moderation, priority, and focus.  Given the clarity that has been given to me in light of current events, I pray that I find the continued strength and persistence to follow a new path. By doing so, I will live happier and hopefully be a positive example to others.