the picture show

if my life was a movie
i wonder what would it be
a comedy, a horror show
damn the drama
and no action here
better yet let it be
a documentary
split screen
and split personalities
a cautionary tale
following the woes of
excess and non-commitment
with frantic camera angles
and a rotating cast of characters
or perhaps
it would be a murder mystery
one in which the victim is never
scene
wait, i think that’s it
i think this victim is me

strange thoughts
for a man in bed at 7pm

because it’s all
perception management
and altered realities
washed out in
commercial excess
and false celebrity idols
a world of noise, where
politicians and bankers
scrape and scramble to
consume and corrupt
we were spoon fed lies as children
and life is not what was shown to us
on saturday morning television

it’s all cause and effect
a distorted slideshow
viewed from a distance
through someone else’s eyes

i wonder what happens
when
the lines of this
youthful fallacy
this lunacy
begin to fade

how are we to keep on
keeping on
with mounting bills
fewer thrills
and stagnant skills
as the pages get longer

should we embrace this
touch of grey
with shadows of decay
as the skin cracks
and the hairs begin to recede
or should we run
scream

all this rain
reaches to the depths of hell
and circles back
to wash away our sins

what if all the men
and all the women of the world
suddenly
didn’t care
what would the children do
and what would life become
if all meaning was lost

i’m just stuck
struck by
a fading illumination
and in need of a
brief intervention
or submissive intermission

too serious
startled and motivated
scattered
these adjectives
elude me
and i’ve sat at this desk for over an hour
with nothing to show
though
i remember something about
balance
and how good can never truly win

and there is
strength
to be found in this loneliness
a kind of obscure determination
one which drives us forward
with an unending repentance

and then
what would happen
if suddenly
there was a spark
what if a smile came along
one which could change the world
what would we do then

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