merge

winter slows the blood
and the dreams of spring are all we have left
it’s been awhile, something to note
with chinese food and stale beer
lying on bent backs and broken beds
the american dream is dead and forgotten

maybe i should get out more
i’m already anticipating
a night of wandering this 30 year prison
of reading and sleeping
alone
and i think i’ve
figured it out
it’s all these electronics
distractions
technical evaporation
and not enough time outside
at the point where
daggers fall like like
so many unused tears
Friday is just another day
and I want to retreat, because
misery is a mistress
held in a bipolar cadence
embraced and shunned all at once

i stole a few lines today
from something written in haste
back when it mattered
and it makes more sense now
i know i’ll never make it
to a full one hundred
it’s just not whole
and still unbound
i can’t own new things
because i’m always
a day late
and a dollar short
static, but not fixed
like a point in the distance
half remembered
and slowly eaten

the eyes are softened
with an identity
that’s changing again
merged
all bits and pieces
forcefully fit together
conversations lose their luster
when you’re not “the one”
but apathy and acceptance have
cured me of these compulsions
and left me wondering what’s next

it seems i’ve loosed all manner
of hells, and still i
calibrate and calculate
well meaning intentions,
pretensions
with a mind towards the self
i’ve flipped the coin on both sides
and come up short
oh karma
you beautiful bastard
teach me the trick
of retribution and evolution
in balance
i think it’s time to quit this game
and make a new one up
a boardwalk fit to claim

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