what the hell happened
it’s 8:15 and already
i’m 3 glasses of wine
into this
bored or
disinterested
wondering where it all went wrong
too  many evenings spent
conversing with myself
as the cellphone beeps
and the music plays
it’s all just a mild distraction

tv death and
at this moment there is no center
as i
pace and race
conducted by some mad tyrant
from one movement to the next
dragging myself across
a strangely textured floor

my cats sit idly by
watching
casting a sideways and
disinterested glance
these quiet and temperamental beasts know
they sit in mocking judgment
but accept your flaws
because you feed them
and give them attention
cats are the best companions
they don’t speak
but their eyes
hold all the truth you’ll ever need

writing in the dark
sometimes i think
this is all just garbage
perplexed
what is this standard of living
that we strive for

i think about all the women
all the love
all the hate
passions heaped on my bed
like a pile of dirty laundry
what does it mean
and when does it end

the bottom is something
you can’t contemplate at this point

i’ve sent out energies
peeking and seeking
something greater than
this empty house
this empty bottle
running in a downward circle
towards infinity
it just keeps going
there is no end in sight
the finish line is an imaginary goal

and then
without warning
it’s over
as
sleep creeps
like an elusive mistress
waiting once again
to fold you into a new days embrace