bleeding with no voice

wake, work
eat, sleep
rinse repeat

no life today

how many times
have we waited
in rooms with
off white walls
and
high lights hung low
with slow moving fans
swirling the scent
of peppermint
intent
on sanitizing any situation
corporatized the world over
these buildings are all the same
brutal and unforgiving

and it seems there always has to be two sides
balance and opposition
contrast and competition
black vs white

but i think
grey
is better
because
grey skies
mask the malediction
of listless hearts
and hollow minds
caught in the webwork 
of macabre daydreams

with two eyes staring back
from a dirty mirror
the world almost seems clean
even though
i am
two tone
something more than
flesh and bone

implications of a bait and switch
and perhaps you feel as i do
that we are
driven for all the wrong reasons
for man is an animal
that speaks
and
words spoken
have little meaning
it’s all a game
tenuous
back and forth as
the pendulum swings
from one extreme to the next
laced with
indifferent hellos
and reluctant goodbyes

in the future, looking back

i remember
cruelty and the beast
it was
melodic chaos
filled with
short lived fantasies
and untapped joy
an old toy
that never seemed to last
late one day and tired the next

no more
rain
erratic train
of thought
draft after draft of horrible musings
coming together to create
something tolerable
feel free to dream
but beware of
multiplication and
hands that move to impress

light-headed and empty-hearted
the keystrokes are desperate
and frantic

why?

well, because…
never mind
suffice to say
we all have style
or at least
a style
and
my style
is
dangerous
unfit for most
disassociated
assaulting it’s host
words
conjured in secret
and written
have purpose
at least that’s what I keep telling myself

i have this unique cookbook of
half assed concoctions

writing, like life
is not a zero sum game
you write some good ones
you write some bad ones
don’t try
take em as they come
fits and shits
near misses
glorious scores
and temporary submission

wash
rinse
repeat

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