{"id":1354,"date":"2018-02-20T07:25:33","date_gmt":"2018-02-20T12:25:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/poeticexorcisms.com\/?p=1354"},"modified":"2018-02-20T07:25:33","modified_gmt":"2018-02-20T12:25:33","slug":"once-and-forever-displaced","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/poeticexorcisms.com\/index.php\/2018\/02\/20\/once-and-forever-displaced\/","title":{"rendered":"once and forever displaced"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

i wonder what it\u2019s like
\nto be one of the normal people
\nthe ones you see in
\ngrocery stores supermarkets and bars<\/p>\n

the ones that
\ngo about their lives
\nlike busy bees
\ncarrying on
\ntalking, laughing etc
\nthey work they play
\ncontribute to society
\nin a meaningful way<\/p>\n

i\u2019ve never been like them
\neven as a kid i had this
\ncertain sense of displacement
\nfollowing a fork in the road
\nthat led me along a parallel path<\/p>\n

wandering through life
\nas a curious observer
\nalone with myself
\nreading cues, hiding blues
\nsearching for fuel
\nto fit in<\/p>\n

always a separate entity
\nintelligent inquisitive individual
\nyet somehow different<\/p>\n

this carried on into adulthood
\ni just don\u2019t do friendships
\nor relationships
\nvery well
\ntry as i might
\nthese patterns of
\nnormal behavior elude me<\/p>\n

there are two planes of existence i think
\none for normal folks
\nand one for folks like me
\non this plane life is
\nharder
\nit forges a certain amount of
\ntoughness
\nwhat was it bukowski called it
\nthe continual condition<\/p>\n

most days it doesn\u2019t bother me
\nhowever there are some
\nwhere i long for that connection
\nthat feeling of normalcy
\nbelonging to someone
\nor something greater than yourself<\/p>\n

i had it briefly(perhaps)
\nbut by accident ignorance
\nor lack of empathy
\ni killed it (and a part of me in the process)<\/p>\n

it\u2019s strange that i
\ntake care of people for a living
\nhow do the two compute
\ni guess i do so well because i\u2019m
\ndetached
\nI don\u2019t think i could carry on in the routine
\n9-5 world
\nso
\nthese days i eat (very little)
\ngo to work pet my cats
\nwrite smoke
\nread and sleep<\/p>\n

it may seem dull
\nbut for now
\nit\u2019s a tolerable existence<\/p>\n

\"211-once-and-forever-displaced\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1354","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poems"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/poeticexorcisms.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1354","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/poeticexorcisms.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/poeticexorcisms.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poeticexorcisms.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poeticexorcisms.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1354"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/poeticexorcisms.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1354\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1357,"href":"https:\/\/poeticexorcisms.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1354\/revisions\/1357"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/poeticexorcisms.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1354"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poeticexorcisms.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1354"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/poeticexorcisms.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1354"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}